Interview Preparation

Hi OP here! I’m seeing several types of repeated comments, so I’m going to make an answer here that addresses each of them, plus a mini update.

THE MESS:
Yes, it is Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder/Syndrome (DSPD or DSPS). I was happy to see the feedback from other people with this disorder, it always helps to know that others are in the same battle and to interact with people who understand it intimately.
For those who said this really resonated with them: read up on DSPD! It can be difficult to get a diagnosis, but even without a diagnosis, you can learn about some things that might help, find community, and adjust your life as much as possible. My quality of life improved a lot when I learned about DSPD and started settling in and stopped beating myself up about my sleep schedule. And if you can get a diagnosis, it will help you get accommodations in school or the workplace when possible.
I also highly recommend checking out the DSPD subreddit as a place to learn about this scientifically (there are some really smart and educated people sharing relevant research), learn about how it affects real people, get advice, and find a community.

MINI UPDATE:
Got an amazing offer (intellectually interesting, play to my strengths, triple my salary) from a company that probably won’t be able to do much to accommodate my sleep schedule. The job, the salary and the doors it will open for me are too good to pass up. While I doubt I’ll be able to come close to the accommodations I have at my current job (and even if I could, it would limit my career development there), I will discuss my disability with HR when we discuss the offer. , and get into the “interactive process” to see what flexibility can be offered. Even a little extra grace around morning punctuality and the occasional severe tardiness would help. And then I’ll do the best I can, which might include taking Modafinil or something, and see how it goes for a year. If the difficulty outweighs the benefits after a year, I’ll start looking for something else with more flexibility, and having this on my resume will allow me to have better options than I currently have.

WHAT MY FRIEND THE MANAGER SAID:
I want to defend him a bit and say that there is much more nuance to the conversation he and I had than what is described in this letter. It is clear to me that his heart is in the right place and that if he found himself in that situation, he would happily do whatever he could to accommodate his new hire. You’re basing your reaction on your specific life and work experience, try to remember that you’re a person who does the best you can (and trust me when I say the best you can is way better than average), and that everyone got literally a date. from him that definitely cast him in a bad light.
It is also true that your quote illustrates how bias around these issues can manifest itself and the dangers it presents.

WORKING REMOTELY FROM A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE:
I have definitely considered this. It’s not clear to me how to find these jobs. From what I’ve seen, the remote jobs postings don’t make it clear what time zone they’re operating in. If you have tips on how to search for jobs like this, I’d love to have them in my pocket for the next time I’m looking for a job.

WORKING DIFFERENT SHIFTS:
This is also something I have considered. I’m always interested to know what these job options are, especially if they pay well and especially if they don’t require me to go back to school (I have a master’s, I’m done!). Please share your ideas again for the next time you make a career change!

THE FOOL WHO SAID THIS DOES NOT DESERVE ACCOMMODATIONS:
I was pleased to see that you were on your own and that the commenters jumped to my defense.
DSPD is truly a disability and it diminishes my quality of life in some way no matter how I choose to deal with it. In the interest of further understanding how DSPD and other invisible disabilities affect normal life functioning, I want to explain what this is like for me:
When I sleep on my schedule, my career options are limited, which likely limits my earning potential. Even with an accommodation, working out of step with my colleagues isolates me and likely hurts my career growth. I keep working when those close to me want dinner, and when I’m awake and energized, my loved ones go to bed at least five out of seven days a week. If I sleep with a partner, I sneak into bed like a thief after they have gone to bed and put up with sleep disturbances when they get up, and this is not good for them either! I cannot attend events that I would love to attend if they are before noon.
When I push my sleep schedule to fit “normal” times, I end up constantly not sleeping and don’t feel rested even when I get 9 hours of sleep. I fail to get up and deal with the resulting embarrassment and embarrassment on a regular basis, not to mention the social or work repercussions. My mind is not that sharp and my personality is dulled due to lack of sleep, so I am slower and unfocused at work, which surely affects my career growth and social interactions. I sit in a fog all the time and I don’t enjoy life that much. In order to maintain anything semblance of a normal sleep schedule, I need to be consistent with my bedtime and wake up times even on weekends, so I have to forgo any nightlife activities on Fridays and Saturdays. And there are health issues that arise when you push your sleep schedule.
I am biologically out of step with the way society works, and no matter how I choose to treat it, my career and social life are compromised because of my disorder. My happiness is compromised. My physical health may be compromised. I may find that tripling my income and being intellectually stimulated by my job will outweigh the benefits of adjusting to my disorder, or I may find that feeling regularly rested will outweigh the benefits of this new job, or I may find a way to stay well-rested and have a great career. But either path will require you to make compromises, sacrifices, and difficult decisions that people without this disorder simply don’t face.